2013: A Year in Review

Seriously, what happened? How is it the last day of the year??

2013 was quite the year! I had a baby (while getting cut in half), quit my job, had an identity crisis (or twelve) and finally started acting like a grown up (just kidding).

Some awesome things that happened this year:

• We introduced Juliana to all four of her great grandmas! 
• Jules and I took a week long trip to Utah sans Steve. This was where she met Great Grandma Call, and we also got to see Jalenna graduate. Not only was it a great trip, but it gave me a lot of confidence in my mothering skills. If I can make it through the airport with a two month old, what can't I do?
• I started working in the nursery at church. At first, I hated it, but again, it helped me realize that I can do hard things. I'm moving up to teach a class of five year olds in January, and I'm actually going to miss it! Mostly because the older kids don't get snacks...
• I learned how to make a pumpkin roll. If you don't think this is awesome, then you've never tasted one!
• We had Amanda come visit for six weeks before she left to Brazil. It was so much fun, but it also made me miss her that much more!

So how did I do on my resolutions? Let's see...

1. Have a baby. Nailed it! I don't want to brag, but I have the smartest, cutest, sweetest, funniest, best behaved baby ever. And I am only slightly biased. But seriously, she rocks. I can't really take credit for it. Thank goodness she acts like Steve and not me!!!
2. Plant a garden. Ummm... not so much. I have a mental block for some reason. I think I'm afraid to fail! But I did take a gardening class, and I pinned a bunch of stuff to my Gardening board on Pinterest, so there's that...
3. Start running again. I tried, I really did. But after my third knee injury, I had to give it a rest. The doctor said it could be my shoes, or could be that my ligaments haven't completely gone back into place after pregnancy. So maybe I'll be ready to try again this year. But maybe not. We'll see. 

My resolutions for 2014 aren't earth shattering, but I like them:

1. Make meals more of an event. I get stuck in the rut of throwing things on the table at the last minute, and eating the same old things over and over. This year I want to try new foods, and actually use a serving dish once in a while! I also want to make breakfast and lunch better. Most of the time I don't plan anything, since I'm just feeding myself and I end up eating a slice of bread, 15 Hershey kisses and 3 grapes for lunch. And then I wonder why I'm grumpy by dinner...
2. Start a garden. No seriously. This is the year.
3. Work on my housekeeping skills. And I don't just mean keeping the house clean, although that's part of it. I want to actually keep a house, to make it a home. I want to create a place where people feel welcome. So really, this is a personality enhancement as much as a habit!

Grateful

It was cold when I woke up this morning. The kind of cold that makes you want to stay in bed. I was in a funk. My to do list was glaring at me, and I was missing my sister. So I laid there thinking about all the reasons my life was hard.

Then Jules woke up. I sighed, and went to get her out of bed. I changed her diaper, apologizing for my cold hands, and then snuggled us both back in my bed to nurse her. As she ate, I wondered how people in truly cold climates kept their babies warm. And then I thought about all the people who couldn't keep their babies warm. Who weren't sitting in houses with heaters and blankets and pantries full of food, but woke up this morning much colder than I was, and worried about what they were going to feed their babies.

The gratitude hit me like a tidal wave. I have SO much. I never worry about where my next meal is coming from. And even though I wince when our electric bill comes, I still keep the temperature in my house comfortable. I have clean diapers, plenty of food, and lots of clean blankets to keep Jules clean, dry, fed, and warm at all times.

Gratitude is a cliche in November. I sometimes feel like it is being thrown at me from every direction. Facebook posts, church talks, grocery store signs all remind me that I should be grateful for what I have. And since I hate being told what to do, my inclination is to run the other way, to list everything that it seems everyone but me has.

I wish I could say my moment of gratitude snapped me out of my funk. It didn't. I still glared at the dirty kitchen floor (seriously, can't it learn to mop itself??) and mentally whined when I had to go grocery shopping. But it was a good reminder that I am truly, unfairly, inconceivably blessed. And I am grateful.

Halloween

Halloween was really fun this year! We dressed up as The Flinstones. The costumes were Steve's idea. I wanted to do something more witty and less character-y, but I couldn't think of anything. Plus, we make really good Flinstones! 

I made all of our costumes, and I was really happy with how they turned out! I'm sure anyone with real sewing skills wouldn't be impressed, but since I don't have any I was proud of myself! I even made Jules's bone headband from salt dough.

We also carved pumpkins! As always, Steve's were amazing. Amanda's turned out really well. Mine was ok. In my defense, I rushed through it so I could get back to sewing black triangles onto Steve's costume. 

 

We also let Jules finger paint her pumpkin. It took her a while to figure it out, but once she did, she has a blast! 

We went to the ward's trunk or treat on Halloween night. There were a ton of people there, so we started to run out of candy pretty quickly. So we closed our trunk and walked around to see everyone's costumes and say hi. A few people wanted to give Jules candy, she had fun playing with the wrappers, and we had fun eating them when she was done! Oh, and one funny story. Someone gave Jules a pack of chewy life savers. She loved chewing on the wrapper and it was dripping in baby drool. I noticed that it was gone, and then I realized I must have put it in someone's bag!! So to the trick or treater with the moist life savers, I'm really sorry.  The candy inside should be ok!

I'm already excited for next year! I don't know how many more years Jules will let me dress her up in what I want, or how long she'll think its cool to have family themed costumes, so I'm going to take advantage as long as I can! 

Eight Months

I can't believe Jules is already eight months old! Where does the time go??

Jules is more fun every day! She is all smiles and laughs. She has also slept through the night for the last three nights! Here's hoping that's a permanent thing! 

She still doesn't have any teeth, but she has been acting like she is teething for a while. Maybe one of these days she'll pop one through! 

She says mama and dada, along with lots of other babbles. Sometimes I swear she knows what it means! She has started clapping, and she can usually clap at the right time when we sing If You're Happy and You Know It. 

Happy eight months Jules!

Seven Months

Well, it's been three weeks since Jules's seven month birthday. Not only do I keep forgetting to post, but I also forgot to take a picture. Sorry Jules. Luckily Jalenna took one. It's no glamor shot, but it will do!

As a side note, these shorts crack me up. They have actual pockets in them. What see they expecting a baby to need pockets for?? Loose change? Chapstick?

We were once again out of town for her month birthday. We were in Phoenix enjoying some sister time. It was so fun to see Jules with Cayden and Courtney. Court is just a little mama, she loved playing peekaboo and helping me feed and change Jules. 

Jules has started eating lots of different foods, so far she has had avocado, sweet potatoes, green beans, carrots, peas, applesauce, peaches, pears, bananas, oatmeal and blueberries. It took a few tries for her to like bananas, but everything else she has loved. 

She is getting to be more fun every day. I am 100% sure that she is the smartest, cutest baby that has ever lived. And I'm only a little biased. 

Six months

Jules is already half a year old!! It's crazy how time flies. 

This month was a busy one! She started solid food, and figured out she can get places by rolling. She also went to her first football game! 

I was afraid the stadium would be too loud for her, but she didn't seem to mind. She loved watching all the action, especially the huge screen. 

She's still a huge daddies girl. When Steve and I are sitting next to each other, she practically jumps out of my arms to get to him! 

At her six month check up today the doctor said she wished all the babies were as calm and happy as Jules is! She is such a good baby, we really hit the jackpot!!

To celebrate her six month birthday I gave her a pedicure. I know, I'm a bad hippie. She actually held still pretty well, and I'll be soaking her feet in the tub tonight to get all the extra polish off her skin. 

Happy birthday baby girl, I hope you had as much fun as I did!

 

A Bad Day

It's always rough for a few days after I see my family. I'm super homesick and lonely and wanting to be back with them. So I was expecting yesterday to be a little rough. It ended up being more than a little!!

First my eye was swollen. 

I thought maybe it was an allergy to something in New Mexico, but it kept getting worse! I couldn't wear my contacts, and wearing glasses always makes me feel a little bit off. So I was muddling through my day, trying my best to be productive and I kicked Jules's bouncy chair. It hurt!! I thought I was just being dramatic, so I tried to stop thinking about it and hoped it would stop hurting. Apparently I should have been more dramatic and put some ice on it because in a few hours is was swelling and purple!

 

Poor pinky toe. 

Then to add insult to injury, I got a stain on my pants. I don't even know where it came from.

I guess some days are just like that. 

The good thing about bad days is that they eventually end, and they make you appreciate the good days that much more!

Eating!

Jules finally got to eat yesterday! 

I was going to wait a few more weeks, but I had an avocado hanging around, and she had seemed a little extra hungry, so we went for it!

I was expecting her to get excited or make funny faces or something! But she acted like she had been eating her whole life. 

She even grabbed the spoon a couple of times to feed herself. 

I was a little disappointed I didn't get any good faces, but maybe she's going to be a non picky eater just like her mom and dad! 

She did enjoy getting messy and wiping avocado all over her face and the bumbo. 

Five Months

Jules is five months old today!!

I feel like she has learned so much this month. She started talking up a storm, but then she stopped for two weeks while she was learning to roll over. Now that she's mastered the roll, she's back to chattering away! 

Speaking of rolling over, Jules finally decided to roll while I wasn't there!! My mom and Tyler were visiting, and Mom watched Jules while we went to Six Flags. That's when she decided to roll from her tummy to her back the first time! Then while Steve and I were celebrating our anniversary a few days later, she rolled from her back to her front. I guess she would rather perform for Grandma than Mom!!

She wants to eat SO badly. We put her on the table in her Bumbo when we eat dinner and she reaches for our food and smacks her lips. We went out to eat last week and when the food came out she looked so sad. Poor baby still has to wait a whole month before her mean momma will feed her!

Jules is such a good baby. We cart her around everywhere and she never seems to mind. She didn't even fuss when we kept her in her carseat for 10 hours on our way to New Mexico. 

Happy birthday baby girl!!

Twenty-Nine

I turned twenty-nine this week! I can't believe it. It's not that I think twenty-nine is old, but I still feel twenty-two most of the time!! It still freaks me out a little bit that I'm doing adult things. I'm married, have a baby and own a home. Shouldn't I have passed a test or something before someone let me do this?? I really feel like I'm going to get life audited someday and they will realize I've just been pretending to be responsible this whole time. 

I've also realized there are some important life skills a thirty year old should have that I am lacking:

- Putting my hair in a french twist. I've tried to learn before, but this time I'm serious. Seriously. 

-  Keeping the floor clean for more than two days. What is so hard about vacuuming? Nothing. Nothing is hard about it. But I still don't do it consistently enough. 

- Remembering to take my car for an oil change/tire rotation/tune up. Actually, scratch that. I got married so I wouldn't have to think about that. Don't worry. There were other reasons too. 

- Not freaking out when I see a bug. Seriously, what do I think is going to happen? It's a bug, not a bomb. Hit it with a shoe and move on with your life woman!!

So if you need me in the next twelve months, you know where I'll be. In the bathroom watching youtube videos and practicing my french twist. Because that's what grown ups do. 

Stick to the Plan

I decided a long time ago that when I had a baby I would do everything in my power to stay home with her. Steve and I made financial decisions based on that choice. It was part of our plan. But then I had Jules and all of the sudden I didn't know what to do. I agonized about still working, working part time, working as a freelancer. I finally decided to quit. I knew I was making the right choice, but I would still think about going back to work almost every day.

Then I realized. I need to stop making the same decision over and over. I had a plan, and now I need to stick to it. Making the decision over and over to stay home was keeping me from really being happy in my new phase in life.

I am not a decisive person, and I think I do this to myself a lot. I like to plan ahead, and I decide in advance what the best choice is, but then when it comes time to execute the plan, I have second (and third and fourth) thoughts. It is good to be flexible and roll with the punches, but most of the time I just need to stick to the plan.

Things Someone Should Invent

• A supportive sports bra you don't have to dislocate your shoulder to get out of. 
• A machine that washes, dries and folds the laundry. 
• An oven that sends you a text when the timer goes off.
• A car that drives itself while you sleep.
• An automatic diaper changer. 
• A comforter that separates so no one steals the covers.
• A filter that blocks annoying Facebook statuses.
• A one way soundproof room, so baby can't hear anything, but you can hear them.

Anyone know an inventor I could talk to??

Four Months

I can't believe it! Jules was four months old yesterday!

She had her four month checkup on her month birthday, along with another round of shots (no fun). Her height and weight were in the 43rd percentile, and her head was in the 90th! That must be why she's so smart, right??

She has started to giggle this month! Steve is much better at making her laugh, I guess he's just funnier than I am? She has also started to grab onto toys and try to put them in her mouth. She loves chewing on fingers, and I'm pretty sure I felt the start of a tooth on her gum this week! She is also able to sit up with support, so she doesn't want to lay down as much. When she's in a bouncer or her car seat she tries to pull herself forward to sit up. She is SO close to rolling over. She can get from her back to her right side, but can't quite figure out how to make it the rest of the way. 

Her hair is starting to fill in, and it's looking pretty dark right now. I'm still hoping she'll get some of Steve's curls! 

It is so fun to watch her learn every day! 

Feedback

I've found that it's really difficult to tell someone that you are struggling with something. When you tell someone you're feeling particularly ugly that day, it's like they are obligated to say "Oh no, you're beautiful!" Which is probably a good thing. I don't really want someone to agree that I look like a cow that has been run over by a dump truck.

When you tell someone that you feel overwhelmed as a new parent, they say it's normal, and that you're doing great. But sometimes I know that's a lie. I am not always doing great. Sometimes I suck. But really, I don't need anyone to agree that forgetting to bathe my baby for a week makes me a bad mother.

But sometimes it would be nice to be able to get an honest opinion about something. I think that's where websites like Hot or Not came to be. Remember that? It was a horrible, horrible place, but at the same time it was really fun. And I understand why people would want to see what others think of them, but in a somewhat private way.

I think that is the hardest thing about not working anymore is that I don't get regular feedback. I used to be told every few days, or every few weeks at the most, how I was doing. Formal reviews happened twice a year, but between that I would get good job emails, or someone telling me that I missed the mark completely and needed to start over. I had clear objectives that I either hit, or didn't. I could assign a number to what I did every day.

Jules doesn't respond to much that I do, other than smiling and cooing now and then. Steve is too nice to tell me that dinner was horrible, probably because he knows he would end up cooking for a week or more. There are no metrics for motherhood, no ratings for a clean house, and nothing is ever really done.

I'm turning off comments so no one feels the need to give the obligatory You're Doing Great cheer. I don't really think I'm doing that bad. Jules is alive and growing, and generally seems pretty happy. I haven't burned the house down. Steve hasn't run away from home. But I think there is something soothing about acknowledging that sometimes, I suck at life. And it's ok.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow

For babies grow up, we have learned to our sorrow. 

So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep

I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep. 

Anniversaries

Today has been one year since we closed on our house. I can't believe it! A year ago today we signed a million signatures, were handed the keys, and then went and had lunch at Saulsalitos to celebrate. I had no idea what the next twelve months had in store for me. I had no idea I was already pregnant!

Saturday the 15th was the five year anniversary of me moving to San Antonio. Five years ago I rolled into town with everything I owned in a Uhaul, and I knew no one. The plan was to stay for a year or two, and then start a new adventure somewhere else. I had no idea I would make amazing friends, meet an amazing man, get married, buy a house, and have a baby!

It makes me wonder what the next year, and the next five years will bring! As much as I love to plan what everything will look like, I know it will turn out better if I take everything as it comes. Most of the time, what I have planned is nothing compared to what actually happens. Life can be such an exciting surprise!

Press Pause

I took this picture this morning. I had to look at it twice. Seriously, she should not be this big! It's only been three months! 

Sometimes I get so excited for her to grow up. I can't wait to help her try new foods, teach her the alphabet, take her to Sea World and the zoo. But then I want to keep her little too. I love the baby snuggles and toothless smiles.

Is it possible to press pause and fast forward at the same time??

It's Okay to be Happy With a Calm Life

I saw this quote on Pinterest the other day, and I loved it.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that being busy and stressed out doesn't mean that I'm accomplishing anything, in fact it probably means I'm not doing a good job at balancing my priorities. I also have to remind myself that I don't need to feel bad for taking the easy way out sometimes. Not every meal needs to be gourmet, not every area in my house needs to be deep cleaned every day, and not every outfit and hairstyle needs to look fabulous.

Some days having chicken and a salad for dinner is great. And some days ordering a pizza is great! Some days a nap is more important than mopping the floor. Sometimes its a sweats and ponytail kind of day.

Three Months

Jules turned three months on Monday! We were in Tyler, TX that day, and I totally forgot to take a picture of her! Luckily I randomly take pictures of her all the time, so here's the best one from that day. Not my best work, but it will do!

I can't believe how fast she is growing! She is too big for her bassinet I kept next to the bed, so she has started sleeping in her crib in the nursery. She doesn't seem to mind at all, but I have had some separation anxiety! She has also started sleeping through the night sometimes! She will wake up occasionally  to eat around 3 or 4 AM, but most of the time she will sleep until 6:30. 

It is so fun to watch her play with her toys now. She is finally getting enough hand eye coordination to reach out and grab things. The baby gym is still giving her hours of entertainment every day, especially if we attach a new toy to it every once in a while. 

Jules is pretty much able to hold her head up all on her own, but she does have a flop every now and then. Now that she can hold her head up and look around, she doesn't mind being held so much, especially if you are helping her sit up. I need to start looking for a Bumbo or something similar so she can sit up a little on her own. 

She has also started sucking on her two fingers, just like her Auntie J used to do!

I am loving this stage, and trying to appreciate every moment. She is growing up WAY too fast!!

My New Job

Today was my last day of work. In name only, since I haven't actually worked since February. But today I went and turned in my computer, gave my badge back and walked out the door for the last time.

I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to be able to stay home with Jules, but it was still really hard. For the last eleven years (oh man I'm getting old) I have supported myself, and being independent was (and still is) a big part of my identity. Depending on Steve financially is going to take some getting used to! Luckily Steve is dependable or it would be even harder!!

Even though the motherhood chapter of my life started eleven months ago when I found out I was pregnant, I feel like today is the real close of my old life and the start of my new one. I'm excited, scared, and a little sad all at the same time!

Luckily my new job comes with lots of perks:
-a really cute boss with super kissable cheeks
- no dress code
- nap time
- opportunities and the time to serve others
- payment in smiles and baby cuddles

Two Months!

Two months old!! I can't believe it! Actually, she's two months and one week old... But this picture was taken on her two month birthday! I swear she's grown even in the last week.

Jules is getting to be more fun every day.  She has started to smile, which is SO much fun. She is especially smiley in the mornings. She even tries to smile while she's eating which is hilarious and messy at the same time... She is still a great sleeper, and has started sleeping 5 hours at a time at night. A few nights she has even slept 7 hours, but I couldn't enjoy it since I was up making sure she was still breathing... (will the paranoid mommy phase ever end?) She also has started cooing, and can lift her head for a while before she lets it drop again.

She has decided that she doesn't like to be held very much, and is the happiest when she is laying down on her own and able to kick her feet. Maybe she'll be a soccer player? She loves her little baby gym, and is just starting to figure out that when she hits or kicks one of the toys it makes a noise. I know I should be happy that I am able to get more done since I don't have to hold her all day, but I miss all the baby snuggles!

Happy two months baby girl!

One Month

I know it's totally cliche, but it's so true... Babies grow so fast!! I can't believe Juliana is already a month old!! We haven't messed anything up too badly, so I guess we're doing good so far.

Jules is such a good baby, she sleeps in four hour stretches at night (which her mama really appreciates!) and is a champion nurser. She hates taking naps and changing clothes. She loves her daddy, and will stare at him for hours when he is around! She also loves riding in the car and the stroller.

Some days I just sit and stare at her precious face for hours!!

My Week in Pictures

The Perks

Well, I'm still pregnant... After bring told by my doctor and lots of others that I probably wouldn't make it to my due date, I was mentally preparing myself for Baby sometime last week. No such luck. I am now so huge that strangers stare at me on the street. And last night I almost knocked over an old man and a few small children with my belly. I really have no control over it...

But there are several perks of being pregnant that I'm determined to still enjoy while I can.

- Eating huge amounts of food because the 'baby' wants it.
- Cutting in line because people feel sorry for you.
- Everyone being super nice to you and always asking how you're feeling.
- Getting out of anything you don't want to do.
- Nice thick hair.
- Midnight snacks.
- A huge belly being cute instead of embarrassing.

I only have a little while longer to enjoy this. My blood pressure has been borderline high, so I'm posting an eviction notice on Sunday. Baby will have 48 hours to vacate the premises or she will be forcefully removed on Tuesday. We can do this the easy way or the hard way!

Staying Home - Days 1-3

Thursday was my last day of work. Possibly forever? But probably just for three months. We'll see.

It sounds like a dream life, being able to take naps whenever while still getting paid. And it is awesome, but its only been three days and I'm already bored!! There's only so much Parks and Recreation a girl can watch before her brain turns to mush.

I try to do little projects during the day, but I get tired in about ten minutes, and my doctor has advised me to stay off my feet as much as possible. So I mostly just sit around. It's times like this I wish I could knit or something! If anyone has ideas for sit down projects, I'm all ears!

As much as I hate being bored, I'm pretty happy I feel this way. I've been nervous that when I started staying home I would end up doing nothing with my life and just watching tv all day while my dishes pile up and Baby runs wild. Now I know that I don't like doing that! So that's one less thing to worry about.

In Baby news - well, she's not here... I keep telling her we have everything all ready for her, but she doesn't listen. I guess she's stubborn. She must get that from Steve because there's no way it's from me, right?? At my doctor appointment last week my blood pressure was a little high, so they had me come in again today to get it checked. It was still high, so I go back on Thursday. If it hasn't come down by then they will induce on Friday. I'm really hoping she decides to come before then, but we'll see!

Nursery Tour

The baby clothes are washed. The car seat is installed. The nursery is put together. Now all we need is a baby!

I'm trying to keep myself busy, so I don't think about the fact that I get huger every second. Even Steve's shirts are getting too small for me, and I refuse to buy new clothes to wear for the next three weeks. It's hard to stay busy when standing for more than 10 minutes makes my feet swell until they look like bricks with toenails on them. My ankles have gone from cankles to just a crease that separates my feet from my legs. Oh pregnancy. It's so glamourous...

But anyway, here are some pictures of the nursery! I'm very happy with how it turned out. I still have a couple of projects, but overall its there!

First, I'll start with my favorite, and easiest, project. I cut out a bunch of hearts from scrapbook paper, and sewed them together. Then I hung them on sticks that I found in the backyard (love free craft supplies!). The whole project took about an hour and cost $11! Thank you Pinterest! I was worried that the hearts would turn over to the white side every time I opened or closed the door, but they seem to be staying put for now!

The hearts are hung over the crib. I love the contrast of the blue sheets with the coral crib skirt. You may notice the wad of fabric over on the left side. I still need to sew the sides of the crib skirt. I'll get to it. Or not. I'm not too concerned with it at this point! The blanket was made by Steve's mom, and I love how the blue and pinks stand out!

I made a pillow to go on the glider. I love how it turned out! I seriously can't believe that I made it! Next to the glider is a nightstand that my brother made in shop class a million years ago (thanks Adam, I'm still using it!). The basket has burp cloths and receiving blankets. I know the wall looks a little sad right now, but don't worry! I have a plan! I'm going to put pictures of Baby under the frame (Steve's sister found it at Hobby Lobby, doesn't it look like it was made for the room??), and the frame is going to have a maternity shot in it when I get them back.

The changing table (that Steve refinished in white) is going to have Baby's name over it in mod podged letters (that match the hanging hearts). Once she has a name! Maybe by her 18th birthday?? I was planning on putting baskets with stuff on the bottom shelf, but it's a lot shorter than it looks and none of my existing baskets fit. I might buy new baskets, or I might just put stuff down there without them. We'll see!

The dresser (which Steve all refinished) is stuffed full of baby clothes. And that's just the 0-6 month clothes! I haven't bought a single piece of baby clothing yet! We know some very generous people. Also, notice the two amazing diaper cakes! I'm almost sad to have to take them apart. But I'll get over it as soon as it's 3 AM and I'm out of diapers!

The curtains. Oh the curtains. I absolutley love the fabric I picked out (I couldn't get a good shot of how awesome it is), but it was SO hard to work with... I lined with the blackout fabric to make the room dark (the sun really beats down on this room in the middle of the day). It was totally out of my skill level. They look ok. As long as you don't get too close...

Oh, and the ironing board? That's for when Baby gets wrinkled. Just kidding. Don't call CPS! That's for ironing the seams of the still unfinished crib skirt. I'll get to it! Maybe...

Counting Them One by One

Pregnancy has given me a new respect for people with chronic illnesses. Feeling bad and not being able to do anything about it is one of the worst feelings. Of course, the difference is eventually this baby will be born (even though sometimes I feel like I'm going to be pregnant forever!!) and people with chronic pain have no end in sight! I really can't imagine how to deal with that, and I hope I never have to find out.

Every time I think I can't deal with being uncomfortable for another minute, I make myself count my blessings. I remember how bad I wanted a baby. I think how grateful I am to have access to prenatal care. I remember that most people don't have the luxury of working from home (I saw a huge pregnant waitress last night. I can't even imagine...). I am thankful for my back massager and recliner and lumbar pillow that help me get a little relief. I am thankful that I am able to carry Baby full term. I am grateful to have an amazing, hard working husband who picks up all my slack. I think about all the women out there who are still struggling with infertility and would give everything they have to be in my shoes.

See? I'm feeling better already.

This is Your Life

“If it falls to your lot to be a street sweeper, sweep streets like Michelangelo painted pictures, sweep streets like Beethoven composed music … Sweep streets like Shakespeare wrote poetry. Sweep streets so well that all the host of heaven and earth will have to pause and say: Here lived a great street sweeper who swept his job well.” -Martin Luther King Jr.

I know bringing Baby home is going to change my life so drastically. I've been thinking a lot about what I want to accomplish, what I want my life to look like. But mostly I think about what I don't want it to look like. I don't want to be frazzled, bored, slothful, impatient and negative (not that I won't be any of those things sometimes, I just don't want to consistently be there!).

Since that's where my mind has been recently, this quote by Martin Luther King Jr really spoke to me. I think it is important to remember that even if our daily work isn't grand or showy, we can still work to be excellent. I also think its important to remember that I always have a choice. I can choose to be productive or choose to be slothful. I can choose to be happy or to be miserable no matter what my circumstances are.

Hellooo 2013

Wow, is it seriously almost halfway through January?? Where does the time go?? I rang in the new year by taking lots of drugs and going to the urgent care center, waiting for them to tell me that I had the flu and I should go home and rest a lot and drink lots of fluids… I was pretty sure that’s all it was, but I was worried I had an infection of some sort, so to the doctor I went. I’m still fighting off the last of it, but at least I stopped sounding like a smoker! So let’s just say 2013 didn’t start off as well as I could have hoped. But that’s ok. I still have 50 more weeks to make it awesome!

Speaking of awesome, let’s talk about 2012! So many awesome things happened:
· Steve and I went on a great 10 day vacation to Utah and Idaho! We got to see lots of family, and I was able to appreciate living in the South more (seriously Idaho, snow in April?? Really??). It was really fun to meet some of Steve’s family, and to see some of my family that I don’t get to visit very often.
· We bought a house! We weren’t planning on buying until next year, but a coworker told me about a program to help you buy a house, and the interest rate we got was so good, we couldn’t refuse. The new house is A LOT of work (mostly for Steve), and sometimes I miss the simple life in an apartment, but I love it. I love our new part of town, living next to Steve’s grandparents, and being able to paint whatever the heck I want!
· I got knocked up! I had my serious doubts that I would ever get pregnant. I know that sounds dramatic, but I really did. I feel SO blessed to be having this baby in a few weeks (eek!), and I’m so grateful to all our friends and family that prayed her here!
· We had our 2nd wedding anniversary! I can’t believe that Steve has made it two whole years without choking me in my sleep! We were planning on celebrating by spending the day at Six Flags, but we found out about Baby a few days before, and I was in the middle of the lovely morning sickness, so we slept in, saw a movie, and spent the day enjoying not being at work.
· My WHOLE family came to visit for Christmas. It was crowded and loud and extremely fun. We hadn’t all been together for over a year, and I hadn’t spent Christmas with my family in three years, so I really appreciated everyone making the drive! Now to convince them all to move to Texas…

I pretty much fulfilled my 2012 resolutions. I could have done better, but I could have been much much worse. And with all the unexpected things that happened last year, I think I did well. Sometimes you have to roll with the punches!

My resolutions for 2013 are pretty simple.
· Have a baby. Steve says that’s a lame resolution since I’m going to be doing that no matter what. I say I’m just setting myself up to succeed. We’ll just agree to disagree on that one!
· Start a garden. I’m don’t want to have a mini farm or anything, but I do want to have a few plants. Tomatoes are for sure on the list, and I’m thinking maybe broccoli and some melons? I’m not sure. But I do know it’s happening! In a few years I want to be able to have tons of produce every year, and can it. But I don’t want to overwhelm myself! So for this year, starting a small garden will do.
· Start running again. Obviously this won’t start until after Baby has been here a while, but I really want to get back into my routine of running. I decided that I will never be the person running the half marathon or the marathon, and that’s ok. If I ever work my way up to a 10k I’ll be really happy. But I enjoy running, even if it’s only a few miles, and I’m excited to start it up again!

Things That Make me Cry: Pregnancy Edition

I've ways been a cryer. But pregnancy has given a whole new dimension to my crying. For example, this past week I have cried because:

We walked by the NICU on our hospital tour.
I couldn't get the sheets off the bed.
I missed the hairstyle makeover section of What Not to Wear.
Steve was asleep and I wasn't.
My nose was stuffy.
I forgot to put my fuzzy socks in with the laundry.
We were out of ground turkey.

I can't explain most of these. Except missing the hairstyle makeover. That still hurts a little bit...