Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Over-Zealous Introspection

Disclaimer: I become deeply introspective around the end of each year. If you don’t want to hear my reflections on life, you might want to check back next year.

We watched The Voyage of the Dawn Treader last week. Of course, it wasn’t as good as the books, but what movie ever is? Answer: Holes. If you haven’t seen the movie or read the book I highly recommend you do both. The movie and the book are great!! It’s a children’s book, so it’s easy to get through it in just a few hours. Anyway…

At the beginning Lucy is wishing she was beautiful. Her older sister is known for being beautiful, and she longs to look like her. I think every woman (and probably most men) can relate to this feeling. I know I can. It’s so hard not to look in the mirror and only see flaws and things I would like to change. There comes a point in the movie when Lucy is looking through a book of spells to help some unusual friends become visible again, and she stumbles across a spell for beauty. She tears the page from the book and puts it in her pocket. Later that night, she climbs out of bed and recites the spell in the mirror. She is instantly changed to look like her sister, and is transported to a party, where all eyes are on her. She realizes that by doing the spell, she has actually turned into her sister, and she no longer exists. Because she doesn’t exist, her brothers and sister never found Narnia and missed out on the greatest adventure of their lives. Aslan finds her, and asks her what she has done. She tells him that she just wanted to be beautiful, and he tells her to think of all that she has lost by making that wish.

This hit me so hard. There are so many things that I want to change about myself. I wish I were more organized, kinder, thinner, more efficient, happier, a better cook, cleaner, more beautiful, healthier. The list goes on and on. But what if, magically, all these changes happened for me? What would I lose in the process? I’m not saying that I should stop trying to improve on my weaknesses. I’m just saying that maybe we need to look at our weaknesses and see if anything is gained. Maybe we can stop criticizing ourselves long enough to think about our strengths for a while.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Why Do We Do What We Do When We Know What We Know?

When I was about 13 we had a speaker at Girls Camp talk on this subject. He talked about the Israelites, and how they saw that Moses could do all these miraculous things, part the red sea, make water come from a rock, heal people on the verge of death, and yet, they were constantly going their own way. He then brought up the point that we do the same thing. We know the right things to do, and yet, we don't do them! He made us repeat the phrase over and over until we all had it memorized, and it has stuck with me these last 13 years.

I have been thinking about this a lot, not just in relation to my life spiritually, but my life in general. Why do I not do my laundry when I know it means I will have nothing to wear on Monday? Why do I eat junk food when I know I will feel awful the next day. Why do I not say my prayers every night, when I know it brings me peace?

I have all the tools available to me to live a perfect life. I know the principles that lead to a healthy life, an organized home, a peaceful spirit. I just don't use them like I should.

Why do I do what I do when I know what I know?