It's the Climb

Lately I have been bored. I get this restless feeling every so often. I blame it on my super short attention span (which is also the reason that I never have seen any movies people talk about). When I get like this I want to move, to find something new or exciting to make me interested in my life again, and to remind me that I can do hard things. I love San Antonio, I love my life, and I am just starting to feel at home here, but I am so bored. I know this is a defect in me. It's just not possible, or a good idea, to reinvent my life every year or so, but I am not sure how to overcome it. When I start a task what I want is to master it. I want to figure out the most efficient way to get it done, and once I do that, I'm done. I've mastered my job, I've mastered getting around San Antonio, and I'm pretty much done. But I can't leave here at least until I'm done with school, and I don't think that leaving is the right thing to do. I've always envied people who have long term friends, people who have known each other forever, and I thought it was something I wanted, but how is that possible for me, when I move so often and never give myself a chance to get to know anyone? It has become very clear to me lately that all the things I want, or think I want, don't fit together, and I can't seem to decide what is the most important.

It always seems like a song comes out that describes just how I am feeling at a particular moment. The song that is speaking to me right now is The Climb by Miley Cyrus. I'm mentally making fun of myself that my current theme song is sung by a teenage Disney star whose father is famous for having an Achy Breaky Heart, sometimes things just fit.

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!