The Big Two Five

I have the same birthday as my mom. Almost every year since I can remember we have spent the day together, eating out, shopping, going to a water park, whatever strikes our fancy that year. This year my mom announced that she wanted to hold off on our birthday celebration until later in the year. This leaves me with nothing to do for my birthday. I have no idea what I want to do...

So I'm turning 25. Everyone keeps saying how that is so young, but 25 just feels old! Realistically, my life is a third of the way over. This knowledge has sent me into a bit of a tailspin. I thought by the time I was 25 my life would make sense, I would know what I wanted and be on my way to getting it, but here I am, still going to to school, still having no idea what I want to do, and even less of an idea how to get there.

I saw a friend of mine from high school yesterday. It was so good to see him, it had almost been two years! He is a really talented musician, and a good teacher too, and is going to be a music teacher. There have been some road blocks for him getting his degree, but he is getting through them, and is going to be amazing. I was telling him how lucky I think he is. Not only does he have something that he has a passion for, but he is also good at it. How often does that happen? I wish I had just a small amount of what he has.

I am feeling random, and totally lost these days. I don't seem to know if I am coming or going. My life is great, it really is, but I can't help but thinking that there is more out there than what I am doing. I have this idea that some day I am going to wake up, and my life will make sense. I won't have to wonder why I am doing the things I'm doing, or if what I'm doing is getting me where I want to go, but I'm not sure that is ever going to happen. Just when I feel like I am getting a handle on life, things start shifting again.