On the Road Again

I am in the airport, after another vacation/work trip to Phoenix. This vacation/training was perfect timing for me. I really needed a vacation, but didn't have much time off, and the way this worked out, I basically got a five day vacation, and only have to submit for 4 hours!! It was a total blast, and very relaxing, but I'm pretty sure I gained 10 pounds!! I sure do miss the restaurants here... I also miss the shopping. I went to Goodwill with my cousin after lunch on Saturday. The Goodwill's in San Antonio are dirty, smelly, and have next to nothing. They also do not have 50% of Saturdays. I do not shop there. The Goodwill here was amazing! I tried on a ton of clothes, but after discovering that it was not 50% off Saturday (they happen every other weekend) I decided that $9.99 was too much for a used dress, but I did score two extremely cute pairs of shoes for less than $15 (and that included two bottles of water! It's very important to stay hydrated when in the desert!). The only struggle was trying to pack them this morning... But I succeeded!

I feel like I am at a turning point right now, like the decisions that I am making now are going to be those that will affect me forever. Strangely, I don't feel any pressure like I usually would. I feel very calm, and confident that everything is going to work out. I think that's a good sign.

Relief?

I found out today I didn't get the job in Phoenix. I was a little sad, it's never nice to be told that someone didn't want you, but I felt pretty good about it, once my wounded pride stopped smarting. It felt a lot like when I didn't get into the grad school I wanted to go to. That very night, my cousin randomly called and told me about UOPX, and told me I should apply there. Things really fell in to place for me after that, and I think it's one of the best things I have done. Plus, now I don't have to make a decision, it was pretty much made for me! I feel like I have been holding by breath for the last month, and now I can finally exhale. A good feeling!

In other news, I have not been grocery shopping in a very long time (emphasis on VERY) and so I am eating a loaf of store bought bread that I got for our trip to the beach (which was AMAZING, btw!) and it is so gross! I remember now why I started making my own bread! Which made me pretty proud of myself. I make bread! How cool is that??

Tomorrow I turn 25. I'm pretty much over the freak-out stage, especially since I feel more direction now that I know I am staying here. Everyone has been so nice about my birthday. My amazing roommate is making me a breakfast that looked amazing even in the prep stages (and I wonder why I have put on weight lately??) and my coworkers are planning something, but I'm not quite sure what. They did ask what my favorite color was, and mentioned something about a tiara. I feel like a huge brat, but I love my birthday, and love making a big deal out of it! I always laugh at people that get mad when friends/family forget their birthdays. No one in the history of the Earth has ever forgotten my birthday. Possibly because I start a countdown at least a month before, and be sure everyone knows my shoe size, just in case they get the urge to get me a little something :) All of this is just another reminder of how amazing my life is, and how blessed I am in every aspect of my life!

A Tale of Two Cities

I have been freaking out the last few days. Ok, maybe more than a few days. The short version of the story is that I applied for a job in Phoenix a few weeks ago, and made it through the final round of interviewing, and will be flying to Phoenix tomorrow to do my final interview. All of this has made me realize how amazingly blessed I am here in San Antonio, and how much I don't want to leave. It has also made me realize how much I want this job. I have prayed and fasted about this, and I still have no idea what I should do. That could be becuase I don't actually have a decision to make, since I don't have the job yet, and might not even get it. But I just keep wondering if I really can leave here. From the first day I drove my U-Haul into town, San Antonio has felt like home. I've had my ups and downs, but over all, this past year has been one of the happiest of my whole life. I have met some of the greatest people, and had some of the greatest experiences. But I can't help but wonder if this was just a temporary resting place, a place to learn and grow, but not to actually land. It kills me to think of leaving the people, the parties, the Riverwalk and the Alamo, and the BBQ! This has also made me realize how lucky I am to have the amazing people in my life that I am blessed with. My dad called today and offered to drive 34 hours in a truck with no AC to move me, so I wouldn't have to spend the money on a U-Haul. My amazing roommates have watched my try on twenty different outfits to help me decide what to wear for my interview, and watched my presentation to give me pointers. My co workers have made it very clear how much I would be missed at the campus, but have given me their unwavering support. All of this is making it very hard for me to leave!! But I know, in the end, that things happen for a reason, and that no matter what happens, I will be just fine.

Satuday Night, No Homework!

It's a miracle! I just turned in my homework, and wont have any more to do until I get some feedback from my instructor on Monday. So it's Saturday night, I don't have homework, and I have no idea what to do!! I think I'm a loser! But a well educated one, at least :)

I had a phone interview for a job in Phoenix this week. I'm not sure how I want it to work out. But we'll see!

The Parable of the Piano

I got my piano tuned yesterday, for the first time since I've had it! I don't know when it was tuned before that, but it's been a while, I'm guessing. There was one key that hadn't worked since I can remember, and the sustaining pedal hadn't worked in a few years either. The piano tuner guy came, and was trying to fix the key, and guess what he pulled out- a penny! It had been under the key for a really long time, he said it was even jammed into the wood from people trying to get the key to work. After he left I was playing the piano, and it was so beautiful! I was instantly a 25% better pianist! It was so easy to get everything fixed, and took less than two hours. I wondered why I had put off doing it before!

This made me think of a bit by Brian Reagan, a comedian I love. He talks about going to the eye doctor after not having been there for seven years. He puts his new glasses on and is amazed at how well he sees. "How can 'instantly improve vision' not be at the top of the to do list? Egh, I'll see tomorrow, I've got a sock drawer I need to clean out."

I think of how many times I do this. There is something in my life that isn't quite right, but it's good enough, I'm getting by, so I let it sit. And then once I fix it, I am surprised at not only how easy it was, but how much of an improvement it made. How great would it be to get all of those things fixed quickly, and not have to spend more energy on them?

The Big Two Five

I have the same birthday as my mom. Almost every year since I can remember we have spent the day together, eating out, shopping, going to a water park, whatever strikes our fancy that year. This year my mom announced that she wanted to hold off on our birthday celebration until later in the year. This leaves me with nothing to do for my birthday. I have no idea what I want to do...

So I'm turning 25. Everyone keeps saying how that is so young, but 25 just feels old! Realistically, my life is a third of the way over. This knowledge has sent me into a bit of a tailspin. I thought by the time I was 25 my life would make sense, I would know what I wanted and be on my way to getting it, but here I am, still going to to school, still having no idea what I want to do, and even less of an idea how to get there.

I saw a friend of mine from high school yesterday. It was so good to see him, it had almost been two years! He is a really talented musician, and a good teacher too, and is going to be a music teacher. There have been some road blocks for him getting his degree, but he is getting through them, and is going to be amazing. I was telling him how lucky I think he is. Not only does he have something that he has a passion for, but he is also good at it. How often does that happen? I wish I had just a small amount of what he has.

I am feeling random, and totally lost these days. I don't seem to know if I am coming or going. My life is great, it really is, but I can't help but thinking that there is more out there than what I am doing. I have this idea that some day I am going to wake up, and my life will make sense. I won't have to wonder why I am doing the things I'm doing, or if what I'm doing is getting me where I want to go, but I'm not sure that is ever going to happen. Just when I feel like I am getting a handle on life, things start shifting again.

My Middle Name

My middle name should be Procrastinator. Or maybe Whiner. It would have been more realistic. Luckily my parents had better taste than that.

My actual middle name is Ann. I'm named after my great aunt, whose name was Elizabeth Ann (little bit of trivia, I was supposed to be named Elizabeth, but when I was born, my mom thought I looked more like a Bethany, so here I am!).

I'm putting off doing homework. Hence a useless blog.

Also, I remembered today how much I freakin love San Antonio!!

Also, today is my two year anniversary of working at UoP! Two years is a really long time in Bethany years!